Adopted - Loss, love, family and reunion

Adopted was published by Massey University Press on 11 August 2022; you can order the book here.

Many of you purchased our earlier self-published version called ‘Awoken’ - Surviving and Thriving through the Adoption Journey. Adopted not only looks and feels better but includes a Forward and photos of our family members – current, birth and adopted.

Writing Adopted has been a long journey for Brigitta and myself – both separately and together. It is the book we wish we had been able to read – a ‘hand to hold’ through the journey from surviving to thriving. 

We wrote this book to raise awareness and understanding about a topic that affects so many New Zealanders. Until recently, very little has been written about the inner experience of being adopted so it is a topic that is not often understood in society or by adopted people themselves. 

The inspiration and motivation to write Adopted was to illuminate how the adoptive experience may impact upon and shape adopted people’s lives. Our personal and professional experience revealed that for many it can limit an ability to be authentic, to feel worthy, to enjoy closeness in relationships, to trust life and to be happy.

If, as well as helping adopted people feel that they are not alone in their experience, we have also enlightened affected partners, parents, children, siblings, friends, and extended whānau about what has traditionally been hidden, perhaps those who have experienced adoption first hand may find greater understanding and empathy for any challenges they face. It is this acknowledgement, validation and awareness that can liberate, heal and empower.  

Adopted is a memoir style ‘from the heart' account of our experiences growing up in New Zealand during the closed adoption era, the search for our birth families, and the impact of reunion. Closed adoption also exacts a physical and emotional toll on birthparents, partners and children. Their stories are also told in this compelling book.

This honest and brave story uncovers the hidden truth of adoption - the unseen challenges faced by many adoptees due to their early experience of relinquishment, the hope and heartbreak of the reunion journey, the common themes that shape the lives and relationships of those who are impacted by adoption. It also offers a pathway to heal, to grow and to thrive.